tger greenhaddock: Talking Bollocks

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Talking Bollocks

After finishing night shifts earlier this week I had an appointment with the Willy Doctor. Nothing serious, just a sperm-o-gram to check my fertility. A checkup on my little swimmers so to speak. I first had to fill in a questionnaire and then have a little chat with the Doc. He seemed a really nice chap, he explained really well what was going to happen, and the best bit was he did it in English.

The sample was given last. I was taken to a 'quiet room' to deposit my sample, and to my surprise there was no reading material available. The even bigger surprise was the small petri dish I was given. The doctor commented that it can be quite tricky to get the sample into the dish. Who says Doctors don't have a sense of humour. Anyway without getting into the technicalities the mission was successful.

The other part of the checkup was the Ultra sound. It's the same machine that they use for checking foetuses in the womb. It was quite a funny experience seeing ones Gonads on screen, and the Doc took a couple of screenshots - I wonder if I get to keep a copy? - and no, I'm not going to post them here!

The Doctor gave my testicles a clean bill of health, but what was weird was when he was checking the blood supply to the scrotal region and he turned up the volume on the Ultra sound. I could hear this strange noise, it was almost like a language. It took me a few moments to realise what it was...........it was talking bollocks!

11 Comments:

Blogger jen said...

Hysterical!
You HAVE to post the screenshots.

No reading material? Then they should have at least supplied you with a fluffer.

December 02, 2005 2:58 PM  
Anonymous Belinda said...

Petri dish? The Germans must not be very optimistic about the ummmmm outcome. In most other countries you get a cup.

btw, this post was hillarious. I couldn't stop laughing after I read "The Willy Doctor".

I was like, who the hell is willy? and then I was like....ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh.

lolol

I'm with Jen. POST 'EM.

:P

December 02, 2005 3:04 PM  
Blogger Nancyrowina said...

Hello I'm one of the editors for the Britblog Directory at www.britblog.com , we are constantly looking for new blogs by British citizens and ex British citizens. If you'd like to submit your blog please do.

December 02, 2005 3:21 PM  
Blogger Nancyrowina said...

I love your post too!

December 02, 2005 3:23 PM  
Blogger Ms Mac said...

Most excellent post!

If you don't show us your gonads I shall be very disappointed! ;-)

December 02, 2005 4:22 PM  
Blogger christina said...

LOL! Pictures, please!

December 02, 2005 11:46 PM  
Anonymous bob_gentry said...

yeah...you should have made a video documentary ...doesn't the doc know you have a blogging audience to entertain :) the nerve! ;)

December 03, 2005 12:29 AM  
Blogger Bob Gentry said...

oops..it didn;t have me logged in ...:(

December 03, 2005 12:30 AM  
Anonymous lillian said...

LOL to the Willy Doctor....

December 03, 2005 8:08 AM  
Blogger Haddock said...

Jen - If a nurse fluffer were supplied I'd never get an appointment, as the doctor would be overbooked :)

Bob - Perhaps I should have done a podcast!

As for the Ultra sound piccys, what can I say.....Mrs Haddock has made it very clear to me that I am not allowed to post pictures of my Gonads on this blog (or any other blog either!).

December 03, 2005 12:13 PM  
Blogger Vixx said...

One of the best entry conclusions I've ever read! :)

V xx
http://furious-angel.com

December 07, 2005 9:05 PM  

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